|
||
|
Infrequent
Flyer
I flew to the east
coast recently. True to form, I was pegged to be searched. The
gentleman told me the computer picked me. But I don’t know the
computer and the computer doesn’t know me—other than by boarding
pass information. Evidently that’s enough.
Almost every time I
fly, some unspecified computer selects me. Perhaps it’s the
e on the end of my name or
my demeanor. But how can the computer sense that?
At any rate, I was
asked to step to the side. A smiling but no-nonsense female official
gave me the once-over with her metal rod after directing me to a
certain spot. She then informed me that she was going to pat me
down—using the backs of her hands on
sensitive
areas—thankfully.
By this time, my
personal items were coming to the end of the conveyor belt. An
official in that area asked, “Whose items are these?” I raised my
hand as I verbally responded and began walking towards him. Let me
tell you. Don’t ever
do that! I thought I was going to be tackled, cuffed, and hauled
off to prison!
The smiling lady
who had patted me down was no longer smiling. She was not happy with
my response to her coworker’s question.
I appreciate and
respect these officials’ positions, but coordination is lacking in
some instances—like this one. The male official who had asked the
question was obviously
looking for an answer. And since it was
my personal belongings, I
responded. What did they expect me to do? I was not about to ask.
When the formerly
smiling lady was satisfied that I was concealing nothing—other than
a few extra pounds of fat—she released me to reclaim my belongings.
I scurried to the
countertop at the end of the conveyor belt and watched as another
official went through my carry-on. Or at least what I thought
was my carry on. I had to check it to the tune of $15 because my
cosmetic bottles held too much liquid and were in the incorrect size
bags and exceeded the specified number.
Okay. No problem. I
was willing to check it. Now
for the fun part: I left the area to go check my bag, and when I
returned . . . you got it. I had to go through the entire routine
again—pat down and all. Oh, well. Personally, I’d much rather go
through that than to see a slipshod routine.
Thanks to all the
officials who help keep America safe—including the formerly smiling,
no-nonsense lady who was kind enough not to reveal my concealed fat. Safe flying!
|
Sale in progress now through November 30th. See our Home Page. Contact us for prices and for fundraiser assistance: Real Hero StuffTM
This site is best viewed in Firefox |
|
|
||